Take Two

I suppose the well worn adage about not judging books by their covers rings too true. Having family over means having to put up with a barrage of comments that necessitates second viewings of everything worthy of denoting TV time to. It also means that I'm subjected to things I would never look twice at on my telly guide, like Lifetime's upteenthmillionth adaptation of the Nora Roberts/Danielle Steele/Thomas Kinkaide novels. I jest, the latter is a painter. Ha.


I sat down for the Celebrity Apprentice on Sunday Night totally expecting to be annoyed by the Trump-ster and his ephemeral piece of hair. Not so my friend! And I don't say this with a gigantic bias towards any Harry Potter promotions as the central project...It was guys v. girls, and the former governer of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich got fired. Basically, the two teams had to present a three dimensonal interactive promo for the new Orlando theme park, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter (aka fandom heaven actualized). Blagojevich and a Victoria Secret's model were the project managers, and the latter kicked butt with organizing, utilizing technoligy to communicate with her team, and essentially designing the faux Hogwarts to show a bunch of lucky tweens. Rod shunted, I mean delegated the task to Brett Michaels (he of Rock of Love std's fame). In the second WTF moment of the week, Michaels took up the task and did a pretty good job with the creative design of the project. Highlights definitely included: Cyndi Lauper's frazzled and freaky professor lurching at kids rambling, "muggles and wizards, muggles and wizards!," Michaels' freaking out over the skeez factor of unintentional innuendos dropped by his team members (HA!), and Blagejovich looking underneath a laptop as if some mysterious manual would drop down. I've given this show too little credit in the past, it's entertaining and one of the better reality game shows I've seen.

Caught up on Top Gear this weekend, and I don't even know where to begin. Is BBC America one of your cable channels? If not, order it posthaste! Jeremy, Richard, and James are the three funniest men on my telly currently, and you don't even have to understand car-speak to get the show. The dynamic between the three sometimes borders on Stooges like comedy, but I sit down for the outrageous challenges:

-building a hybrid from scratch (the Hammerhead Thrust i, nee Geoff) and subsequently putting said car through a series of tests
-driving a trio of sportscars around Romania (and watching James get lost several times, and attempt to speak to the locals...epic fail)
-flying a homemade caravan (trailer) with a hot air balloon attached to the top (James again) and landing it in an open field where it promptly topples over
-racing two notoriously poorly built cars (Lancias both) and racing them rally style around a track until one gives out and gets squished by a baby grand piano and the other catches on fire (Richard and Jeremy).

These and countless other CLASSIC challenges are comedy gold, the boys bicker, sabotage one another, and declare their personal choices to be the penultimate. Plus, there's the "Star in the Reasonably Priced Car" which has had such greats as Dame Mirren swearing whilst tearing around the Top Gear track, the Cool Wall, and the perpetually snoozy Top Gear dog. Oh! There's also the Stig. Some say he...well, it doesn't matter, the intros are always ridiculous.

Damages really lived up to its title this week, knocking off Patty's henchman, Malcom (so sad to see you go *sniff*) and Danielle's daughter, Tessa Marquetti (who was Joe Tobin's daughter, not his half sister by his father). We're two episodes away from the finale and with the headcount this high, it seems as though Ellen and Patty are the only two that will be left standing. Marilyn Tobin plays it cold, lying outright to Len and telling him that she's revealed Tessa's connection to Joe, while reassuring the latter that he's not to blame for putting a hit on her in order to protect their financial assets now that they know where it's located. Ellen learned that her mother nearly gave her up for adoption, and hallucinated about her dead fiance (who hasn't been thought about since season one). Patty clashed with Ellen, kicked her out of the office and off the case, butted heads with the DA over the Tobins and Tessa M., and fired the new attorney, Alex. Next week ties up Tom's death (boo, I'm gonna miss Shayes), and Patty's resolvement to tear the Tobins down and apart.

I realize that nostalgia sounds silly for someone my age, but I miss the golden heydey of Channel 5's The WB. Xena, Hercules, Angel, Gilmore Girls, and hell, even Seventh Heaven. It was a great channel, well stocked with engaging primetime dramas. Nowadays, it's home to Top Models, the painfully boring GG (Gossip Girl), and the surprisingly long running One Tree Hill. I don't know what else gets played on the CW, I only care about Life Unexpected. This week we got to meet Cate's deadbeat dad, whom Baze recognized as no-good because he could spot the reluctant approach to fatherhood that he once felt. The dysfunctionally cute family took a road trip, while Bug (as much as I love this show, someone needs to work on the kids' names) tried to clean up Baze's bar after finding it trashed in retaliation against him (Bug). I almost gave up on this little gem for a while, fearing that we'd get Lux and the Abercrombie kid, Jones smushed in our faces as a couple, while Baze/Cate/Ryan danced around in the most awkward not Big-Love-near-polygamist-trio.

I don't know what to think regarding the love triangle of baby daddy/baby mama/fiance trope, I flitted between wanting Lorelai to end up with Christopher in GG (the only double G that counts), and wanting her to take the leap with other loves, first Max then Luke. Ultimately, she did end up with Christopher for a while, and though the two had always had a great dynamic, they failed as marrieds so badly. I'm kind of getting the same vibe from Baze/Cate and Ryan, even though episodes that focus strongly on the former put me in a pro "get the family back together" mood. Next week is the season finale...WHAT, ALREADY?! And of course, the requisite cliffhanger! trope of the wedding being crashed by the crazy former lover. I think I got tired of trying to figure out who I wanted the girl to choose after getting so heavily invested in the Hendricksons.

My favorite part of this episode had to be Bug's apology to Baze about the bar, fully expecting to be fired, and Baze's nonchalant, "see you tomorrow." His understanding of Bug's continual effort to move forward and change worked well in ways that Seventh Heaven never managed to when it came to "life lessons 101." I love that Baze has grown as a character over the course of this season and that I'm actually rooting for him even when he fumbles.

Tara got found out in The United States of Tara. She tried to break up with Buck's girlfriend and completely blew her cover, leading the desperation addled woman to follow Tara and family to the ice rink and pronounce her love for Buck/Tara over the microphone. Marshall engaged in more sexual experimentation with his slightly weird not girlfriend, and Kate started hanging out at the artist's studio. This show moves super quickly for a full half hour, I don't even know where time goes when I watch it. I guess that's a good sign...

Southland's season finale is tomorrow *sad face*, and I have got to find some way to see the season premire of CI before part II airs. Rawr.